When i depart, i will have spent all my money simply watching. watching people. Uptown gurus, downtown teachers, broke ass artists and dealers and Filipino preachers, leaf-blowers, boob-job doctors, hooligans, garbagemen and your local congressman. Everybody gets this one pointless gift. Everybody gets these two eyes watching them socialize, capitalize, philanthropize and live.
When i depart i will not know more truth than at arrival, that presumably normal night in a hospital in sweden. I will not know less. I will not have contracted nor extracted from or to this world.
If i try to write about it, vindicate it, glorify it or vilify it, i would still just be a player, i will still just be another person living… Trying to live of other people living.
If we were created to spread our genes, then my arrival and transfer is a study in failure. A study in what gives the human pleasure after purpose is ruled out.
Hedonism is after all just the search for release of endorphins. Religion is in the end just the hope for something more than we can see. Science just tries to understand what we already see.
And heritage is still just the small differences in nature and nurture between you and the guy next to you on the bus. Money is only a number with a imaginary value attached to it.
Suicide is still just death, and death is still just the evaporation of interaction with the world.
Or so we believe.
Posted on Thursday, 30 October 2008
